please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
