Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
