So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
