i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
