Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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