I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
