beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
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How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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