Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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