yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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