I think I died a long time ago.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
