K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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