it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
