Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
