They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
