You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
