we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
