whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize