Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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