my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
