CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you didnt know i had herpes?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
