So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
