High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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