what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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