You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
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He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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