can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
