I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
