i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
