i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I understand Curling. That high.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
