I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
