And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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