from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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