I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
