his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
