i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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