What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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