dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
