We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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