I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
