I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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