Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
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She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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