I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
