I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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