How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
