not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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