Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
