well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
