So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
