I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
