apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
