You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
