Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
