I CAN MOONWALK!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
