...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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