I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
