Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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