dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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