After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
