This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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