I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I wish i was in the wii world.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
