North Korea, Best Korea!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
