i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Randomize
